Dearest Tasha, I do believe I have an idea pertaining to a way your friend could go about her infiltration. It's more complicated that just pretending to come from the hospital. It involves Daniel.

I haven't asked him if he would help, but he does seem to have extensive practise at being a double agent...

My brother doesn't want me to see him. I've spent the last...far too long, thinking he was just as worthless as the rest of them. And now I find out he suffered something terrible and he's changed so much. I recognise nothing of him. It's very easy not to call him Dedrich, to accept his new name, because the man he is now, is not Dedrich. Even his eyes are different. I want so much to know him, and I have to wait and it's frustrating.

And poor Alastair is still stuck here...

I had the best night last night!

Dearest Joe. It pains me that I can't come to you to comfort you during this time. Please know I understand your pain. If you need someone who understands, please consider me your humble confidant. You are welcome here any time.

I think my album is finally taking the shape one might call 'close to finished'. Any my captivity is closing in on an end date as well. I am feeling intensely grateful for that. I was thankful for the solace of home for a long time, and I had no intention or desire to be out of it. Now I am feeling quite closed in. And while I still have about seven weeks to go, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I've been contacted by the LSO and I can resume my position there in September.

Medication-wise, I have been told everything looks like it's supposed to look. It's making me feel less ill now. I'm going to be just fine.

The test was positive. I have to go back tomorrow to learn about pills and routines and all the rest of the rigmarole I will need to deal with.

More importantly, I touched my piano for the first time in months. And not just touched, I created. I've been writing songs. There's a lot that needs to be expressed. And instead of bottling it up, I'm getting it out. I'm going to use my time of confinement to create. I could think of no better use of it. And then I will release another album. It will be called Phoenix. I've already written the title song, though I plan to continue to tweak it.

I hope that it not only serves to heal me, but that it will help others as well.

And on a vindictive note, I have contacted Gabriel Whitney and asked about legal action against the prison I was in that led to this. He said that kind of case is pretty much already won. I'm doing it so that this kind of thing will stop. I was raped in prison and now I have HIV and I know I am not the only one. It can't continue. If I win, what doesn't go to pay Gabriel will be donated to some foundation or other. I have all I need. This is just something I feel I need to do.

I'm home. There wasn't really much the hospital could do, beyond taking care of the symptoms somewhat. I don't feel much better, though I've been able to keep my last few meals down, such as they were.

The doctor suggested I be tested for HIV. Which I would have done anyway, considering what happened a month ago. But apparently what I'm going through right now isn't looking good. There doesn't seem to be any other cause for it. Either way, we'll know soon.

I haven't touched my piano, nor have I gone back to the bedroom I shared with Werner yet. I am fortunate in that this house is quite large and there are enough rooms that I would never have to. Except that I will soon be relocating to share a country home with the beautiful Klara, and I will need my things. I shall have to be brave and face it one last time. I do miss him very much.

I haven't been feeling so fantastic the past few days. Under the terms of my incarceration, I am allowed to attend a medical practitioner. If I am still feeling poorly by Friday, I would feel such a visit to be prudent. For now, I believe it may simply be the stress of the past few months finally catching up to me. And just in time for my birthday too.

And no, I won't be revealing my age. But suffice to say the answer is far older than I was this time last year. Far, far older.

And dear Daria, I so wish I could help you right now. Know my thoughts are with you, and if I could leave this place, I would. Even if just to be by your side.

I'm home. I was escorted here an hour ago by a few rather burly and yet untalkative men. I can't tell you how good it feels to be out of that place. These walls don't seem like a prison, they seem like a haven. Liz has prepared a feast, and I admit I am rather looking forward to it. My poor stomach has been sadly neglected of late.

I don't know if I will yet be the best company. But I would like to see everyone. I have missed too much.

Dear Spectre, I am so sorry Werner and I couldn't make it today. Thomas will be greatly missed.

I'm here for you, my dear friend. If you need of me, you need only to let me know and I'll be there.

Kid #1: The electric guitar is so the coolest instrument.
Kid #2: I know! And my mum is making me take piano lessons! What the hell, Mum?!
Kid #1: Haha, fag!
Kid #2: Shut up! You know what would be awesome? If there was like...some sort of...electric piano!!
Kid #1: Oh my god you should totally invent that! You'd be a millionaire and then no one would care that you're a fag!!

Little did they know Bertolt Johan Leidermann was standing not three feet from them, overhearing every word. Not that they would know who I am... I didn't have the heart to inform them about the keyboard. Mostly because I do hope they waste countless hours trying to invent the 'electric piano' before they realise it's been done.

I can't help being petty. Playing the piano does not make one gay. Being gay makes one gay. Open your eyes, children. The world is bigger than your own living room, no matter how impressively large that room may be.

I'm finally starting to record my new album. I'm doing it all at a lovely little studio down town. It has several songs that have been inspired by my nearest and dearest, which should come as no surprise. There's been a 'Werner' song on everything I've produced for the past ten years, unless it was something I was collaborating on. The same is true for this album. There's a Hope song too, which I played live for her on her birthday. A song inspired by finding family I love after all this time, a song for my dear friends in Spectre's band, a song for Alastair and Klara, Allanah, Joasia, Jonathan...believe me my friends, you are all in there, influencing the melodies. There's a song for London too, appropriately titled 'A Song for London'. I hope it touches people.

Thomas, Aly and Quinn are all alright?

I'm at the hospital with Werner, but we're a little closed off at the moment.

This is such a relief.

Werner's gone through the change again. So it's probably best if everyone stays away for a few days to let him recover. Peter has arranged it so he'll be taken care of by someone much more fit than I am when he once again assumes his human form. And he'll let us know when he's ready to see people again.

So, I suppose, here goes...

Oh, good heavens. The things you miss when you're holed up in a different country, paying no attention to the internet or the world at large.

Spectre and Flynn, you have my very deepest condolences. As does everyone who were lucky enough to know the great Jax and Quinn.

We will be back in London on Monday and as of then I am at your service, my friends.

Werner came home today. He seems to be doing just fine. As well as could be expected. We're going home to Vienna for a few days to deal with Werner's place. We'll move some of his things to my place and some to London. They rest he wants to donate or... I don't know. Give to people.

I don't want to close myself off. I don't know how conversational I'm going to be. But I won't disappear.

I hope you all are doing well. I really do.

Jolene? Are you free today?

I've had a run-in with your brothers. And there's other news too.

Why would a werewolf be unable to change? Is there...precedence for that? Werner never used to have a problem. And then he couldn't stop shifting into his wolf form. And just tonight, he couldn't do it and it was causing him great pain. I got him to calm down, but...it doesn't make any sense.

Sometimes I am not a renown pianist. I am not a professional musician. I do not come from a notoriously wealthy and infamous family, and I am not the black sheep of such. I am not a role model for gay men and women or an activist thereof.

Sometimes I'm just a man. A lover and a cousin and something like a step-father. I feel like that man now, here in London. And it's a wonderful feeling. I can allow myself to be worried and content and incredibly loved.

Werner is on the mend, much to my relief. His doctors still have no idea what caused his attack, but after more than several check ups, he's been given a clean bill of health. This man is very, very happy.

I had to take Werner to the hospital earlier today. They're not sure what's wrong with him, but they said the x-ray didn't show anything wrong with his lungs. He coughed blood. It was terrifying. But he's here with me now, asleep beside me. And he seems okay. He'snot having any trouble breathing. I have no idea what brought this on. We were just playing pool.

And I can't get ahold of Alastair. But if you read this, I can come get you if you'd like to be here! Your father is going to be fine, but I can understand the need to see him with your own eyes.

This is horrific. I knew this had been happening, but being here while it is... It's beyond horrible.

Spectre, my new friend? It's never too early to organise a benefit concert, what do you say?

Hello, Londoners!

Peter has shown me the ways of the internet, and I daresay I am intrigued! And then Liz showed me how to annoy Peter by asking the same question 34 times (I counted!) and that was a jolly good time as well! I've made my delightful partner, Werner, procure himself a journal as well, because one ought not to venture into these dark and deluded waters on their own, now should they? He is rain_on_my_moon and he's quite delicious if I do say so myself!

We went a visiting Werner's son, Alastair today. He's a strapping young lad, who happened to consume 4 lattes over the expanse of a few hours...quite incredible though I do think we left him a little jittery...

Here's to you, friends old and new!